New Tenant Misled Me on Day One - Am I Overreacting or Being Gaslit?

Landlord Discussion
1

Hi everyone,

I’d appreciate your take on this situation. I’ve just taken on a new tenant and I’m getting a sinking feeling that she’s testing boundaries already — possibly gaslighting me. I want to check if others would read it the same way.

Background:
She’s a mid-20s Australian who’s just arrived in the UK, travelling and planning to stay short term. She failed referencing due to having no UK credit footprint, but her employment checks and savings lined up. She paid 3 months’ rent upfront plus the deposit and signed a 6-month AST (OpenRent standard contract). The tenancy officially starts 31 July.

She asked if she could move in a day early, which I agreed to on goodwill - clearly stating her tenancy wouldn’t start until the 31st, and that the room is strictly for single occupancy, with no overnight guests unless agreed in advance with the other housemate.

Here’s the issue:

She moved in at 9pm - two hours later than we had agreed to meet. She had a friend with her. I asked her directly if her friend would be staying over, and she told me “no.”

At around 10pm on the 30th, she messaged asking: “Can I clarify, is it ok if my friend stays over for a night or two on the sofa in the living room before she leaves for work?”

I responded firmly, pointing her to clauses 9.39 and 9.40 in the contract. I foolishly said the friend could stay one night only, and advised any repeat would lead to formal action.

At midnight, she messaged again saying: “Sorry to disappoint you, my friend won’t be staying tonight. I thought you were asking if she was staying the whole time! Just a bit of misunderstanding on my end. I messaged after you left because I started to overthink what you meant.”

This all feels calculated to me. I’ve taken her at her word for now, but I’m wary. The room is part of a shared house and it’s not fair on the other tenant.

It’s absolutely fine to have friends visit from time to time, but it’s important - and courteous - to move in first, settle in, and get a sense of the house dynamic. Introducing a guest on your first day, without notice or discussion, is so abrupt. I was absolutely caught off guard.

Am I overreacting, or is this a classic early red flag?

  • Should I have said no to the friend staying at all?

  • Would you consider this breach serious enough to take further action?

  • Or is this just a teething issue with a tenant adjusting to UK norms?

Thanks in advance — would really value some experienced landlord perspective.

UrbanRooms

2

Did this guest stay in the tenants room or in the cummunal area? I didn’t know how to interpret ‘on the couch’.

3

She stayed in the living room, I think. I have not been to the house but from what the other tenant said, this morning, her friend may have stayed the night.

4

If thats your real name and photo, delete. Public forum.

5

At this stage I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt. I’m sure you will be monitoring the situation closely in the future.

You made a mistake by letting her move in early. The tenancy begins the moment she takes possession, so your paperwork no longer reflects the reality of the situation. This could prove an issue if you ever need to serve her with any type of formal notice. Nothing much you can do about it now though.

6

It’s a red flag but not much you can do now

7

I’m not sure if would be considered ‘reasonable’ to set a strict no guest rules in this way. I suspect it would go against ‘quiet enjoyment’.

Assuming this is a ‘room let HMO’ I do however believe that any temporary guest should stay in the persons room, not in any communal area.

8

Thanks everyone for your comments - much appreciated.

I agree this is something to monitor. I take the point about early move-in - lesson learned.

Re: guest policy, I’m not trying to ban visitors. It’s helpful to hear that others would expect guests to stay in the tenant’s private room, rather than in common areas.

Thanks again for the advice.