Girlfriend moved in

Hi everyone

Got quite a weird topic here but I’m hoping to gather a general consensus as to what I should do.

So… my partner of 4 years moved into my property around a year and a half ago. As a result she rented the apartment she moved out of for £725 pcm. This saw her with around £50 profit.

When she moved into my substantially bigger house with me, we had the awkward discussion about what we thought was fair to pay me towards the monthly outgoings of my home.

We worked out that my outgoings were around £1400 pcm so my suggestion was to pay £400 and I’ll pay the rest. However, we’d also worked out that the additional costs of her living in the house would be around £280 and she said that she thought that she should only pay what the extra it would cost for her to be there as anything over the £280 would be paying some of the loan on my mortgage which she wasn’t happy about.

My argument was that she still needs to pay for the roof over her head and that her tenets aren’t only paying for what they use on utilities, to which she said but I’m your girlfriend. So I backed down as I felt guilty and we agreed on £280 pcm.

Anyway a year and a half later and still paying the same, it has come to light again through a conversation with a close friend who was completely shocked when I explained what she was paying. His words “she’s taking the p**s mate”. So it got me thinking about it once again and I’m inclined to think the same considering she’s making at least £50 profit from her own place and only paying £280 per month to me, meaning she’s only actually forking out £230 pcm and saving the rest of her £2000 after tax pcm wage.

What’s the consensus here? I’d really appreciate if you would be so kind to state your opinions. Should she only pay for the extra utility costs or am I being mugged off and she should be paying a larger contribution?

Many thanks.

find a new girlfriend that cuts out any arguements


"but I,m your girlfriend "would not cut it with me . However I can understand not wanting to pay on your mortgage

Hi, I think she should definitely be paying half of your household costs (maybe split it proportionally to what you both earn) and I think she should also pay some kind of additional or token contribution, in recognition of the fact that it’s only because she’s living with you that she’s able to rent hers out, make some money from it and be in a stronger financial position. It could be that she could drop the extra contribution in any months when she doesn’t have anyone paying her rent. I guess that if you had loads and loads of money it wouldn’t matter, but if you find that you’re stretched and she’s not, then I can see why it would be annoying and feel unfair.

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Lee28 you say £ 50 profit, .is this over and above paying a motgage.? or rent to a landlord?

Hi Colin.

I don’t see it as she’s paying my mortgage. Where can you get a roof over your head for free? Like Gini has said a contribution would be nice.

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Hi Gini

Thanks for your reply.

I have to agree. Just something would be nice but today she’s still putting up the same argument as she did over a year and a half ago. I just want it to be fair but I’m struggling and she’s saving £1700 per month. Somethings not right.

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After she’s paid out all the costs on her flat. Ie mortgage, service charge, appliance cover etc , she’s left with £50 profit.

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So your partner is happy for someone to live in her property and pay her mortgage but she is not happy to live in another property and help pay that mortgage? Wrong 'un. If you are truly partners, you should both contribute fully to the running costs of your home. Of course, take into account earnings differences but if affordability is not a significant issue (which it doesn’t sound like it is), an equal split is very fair irrespective of differences in earnings.


So someone else is now paying her mortgage? Lee this is not right … She has you over a barrel. she is quids in Act now . Plenty more fish in the sea

Think you should be splitting 50/50 whatever she gets from her rental as this is income that wouldn’t be there if she wasn’t living with you.

Or same principle set up a joint account which the rental money goes into, your joint usage of utilities and bills from your place gets taken out and what’s left is split between you.

Rather than looking at it as who is paying who’s mortgage, look at it for what it is, which is an extra income between the two of you as a result of your new living arrangements. To be split and used however you each chose.

Or go back to living separately. Which you might be doing anyway soon as the resentment will come between you both.

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I have heard of cases in law whereby if someone can prove they were paying towards someone else’s mortgage then they may have a claim on a portion of the property if they split up.

Just in case, this is another reason I would keep mortgages out of the equation and keep it simple as a joint account.


Very good point Mr T

Yes exactly that Colin. Think Mr T has a good suggestion, however I know she’d never go for that when she doesn’t want to part with an extra £100 per month.

What do you think you will do?
Ms. T.

Hi Mr T.

Thanks for your response. Wise words and yes in an ideal world we’d just split the outgoings on both properties so it would be fair. Like I said to Colin though she’d never go for that. She’d lose a considerable amount per month.

I’m really not sure what I’ll do but the more I think about it the more I get wound up.

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Yes that’s the trouble. The resentment will almost certainly grow. Like you say a difficult situation.

Yeah possibly time to put my foot down or kick her to the curb.

Yes, unfortunate as it is.

Or you both move into her place, rent yours and you keep the rent. Would she think that is fair I wonder?

If you were to put your foot down, how do you think she would react?

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